Somtimes you should just listen to yourself, girl.

Hello!

I'm a liar! I didn't write all summer and now fall is almost over! What have I been doing? Nothing important, so let's get to it.

I have a terrible, awful, no good case of the Novembers. I'm feelin' all cold and single and my contacts are so dry. And like any good independent who is down, instead of talking about my troubles, I've decided to go out a lot. Those dark and carpeted bars have pacified the problem, but not solved it. I needed a little jolt.

Earlier today my friend Mandy, who knows not of my Novembers, serendipitously text me a picture of an old email I wrote her when she was in a similar funk. She has since kept it hanging in every office she has worked in, and now, in the middle of another work move, is packing it up again and decided to send it to me.

I read it and laughed. It was the jolt I needed. It changed my outlook. Oh how wise I was as a younger version of myself.

9/9/08

Mandy,

First, always speak your mind. Just remember that life is too good to last, so every person and every moment you spend with every person should be Lennon/McCartney amazing; or at least rival that of a really good episode of "That '70s Show."

Also remember that when you have to do something scary, calories don't count. So you have to do something grossly unfun - well, there is a really big piece of chocolate cake waiting for you at 7-Eleven. And if you feel like getting super crazy, there is always that 40oz fountain soda with the good ice - but that is only to be used in extreme emergency situations.

And if that still doesn't work, imagine (insert name of sweet, but desperately goopy guy)* in a leotard, ribbon dancing to Josh Groban. That always gets me. Or think of Gloria Steinem and Eminem at Ellen's Sunday brunch table - that always really makes me laugh, too.

Lastly, remember that you are awesome and have really good hair.

I think that about covers it.

Kindest Regards,
Lauren XXX
Treasonist Detective**
555-555-5555

So there you have it. Life is short, people. So do what you love and be with the one you love and love hard and long and speak your mind and laugh - and make fun of fat kids (I guess?).

Play us out, Groban.



*Name redacted to protect the sweet and goopy
**I used to say I was a treansonist detective, which would make Mandy and I laugh every time. It's not even a real thing. (Or is it?)