Sometimes she lies about big stuff like inventing recycling and her love of One Tree Hill - she DVRs it off SoapNet everyday. Sometimes she tells smaller lies about the smell of her feet (she claims they smell like bandaids, but I know better) or the color of the sweater she is wearing (Hey, Catherine. Stop telling me your sweater is brown when it is clearly taupe!)
But what I hope for her in the future is that she learns that her lies, like small ivory handled daggers, hurt. Yesterday we spent the day together. First we had burritos and went to World Market and then to see Sunshine Cleaners. After the movie we headed to Duke of Perth for some beer. After my 5th, I started telling her about my past - things like how the Horse Whisper, staring Robert Redford, was a fictional tale based off my horse whispering skills. She responded gleefully, occasionally even giving me a high-five and a pat on the back. Today she told the world she didn't like horses.
I've seen her business plan to create a t-shirt line filled with images of Chad Michael Murrey parading around on horses with Lisa Frank heart nipple stickers. I know she is a liar. She lied to the world.
So, I just want to say one thing in response to her lies:
Shut up, Catherine. Stop telling lies.
Love you.
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And so begins the first of many comments (that will start to appear slowly over the next few days)...
ReplyDeleteWhy would you ever trust someone with such a sinister stache (and sweet cleavage)? You're only setting yourself up to get hurt.
I pretended to love horses because I love YOU. And I wanted to lull you into a false sense of security so you'd agree to be my business partner in a lovely little venture called "Chad Michael Murray's Basketball Jersey and Upper Arm Tattoo Emporium." With your funding, we can include a cafe.
Let's talk business over vegetable medley burritos and sour candy.